Delay In Training/ Frustrations/ Fears/Living With An Environmental Injury

[suzanne sanders]

I was going to test in two weeks for my forms, but now it is delayed.  I can't even describe the frustration, sadness and tears that came with that choice.   Really it is not choice, I have to take care of myself.  I want to push myself to get it done soon, but I am a little fearful on this one.  I need  to make sure I do not push hard on this, that I have balanced set goal and I am asking my family to help me realize if I end pushing too hard.  Pushing to hard would not be healthy for me.  

Most of you know that I have MCS which is do to  environmental injuries that I have received from the past and present.  I would like to share my story from this week with you.  I am hoping that by sharing my story, you will apply change to your own life and help spread the word.  The word is this. most of you do not know that you are using products that are unsafe, for you, the environment and of course for people like me.  These toxic products are full of petroleum based chemicals that are not safe for any of us.  If you use tide, all, surf, dryer sheets, the latest popular cologne or perfume, hand sanitizer,  the regular cleaning products like fantastic, fabreeze, windex clorax etc... They are full of toxic ingredients  

Living with an Environmental Injury means this.   You are an outcast, you loose all your friends eventually and your family does not want to be around.  The reason, they have to change their life  just be around you.  It means that you are a reminder to them that they are toxic to the earth and you.  Every time they dye their hair, paint their nails, put on hair care products, wear perfume, they are reminded that they poison you and the earth.If they are to come and see me they can not have any of these products on.  If they  use perfume  at anytime,  it does not wash out,therefore they should not be around me. 

 It would have been easier for my friends and family if I had cancer.   This is why, they would not have to add change to their life, they would not have to realize that they have been living a life using toxic products.   They could write their little checks out to give donations to the American Cancer Society for my sake and finding the so called "Cure" .  They would take time out of their lives to run "Relay For Life".  Buy their little pink ribbon stickers, their toxic cleaning products that have little pink ribbons on them, because they advertise they give money to the American Cancer Society.   They would have done all of this for "Sue" 

Because of my Environmental Injury, I have become a radical earth steward.  I care so deeply for the bees, the frogs, the trees, the water, the oceans and our air more than anyone that I know.  I care because it means "Life" for me.  It means life for the bees, birds, frogs our earth.   I know that if I did not eat organic, I would not be here.  I also know that because people are not willing to change from their own toxic eating habits, they are contributing to killing off the bees and all of earths creatures.  It is a slow kill and someday we could have a "Silent Spring"  if we do not change.  

I am not sure what it is going to take for people to change because, the people I have known  and family can't change for the sake of keeping me healthy.  They have acted like ostriches.  Their heads in the sand and I was someone they cared about, a personal connection.  

We are losing our bees at a faster rate then ever, it is due to environmental toxins from chemical agriculture and GMOs, Where are the radical changes that need to be done to save our bees?  It certainly is not happening the the circle of people I see on my husbands face-book pages.  

How can you get anyone in the world to change?  Any suggestions.  Or is it going to take starvation?  No Bees No Food...

Having an Environmental Injury is like getting beat up off and on.  Emotionally and physically. It is a curse but is a gift.   

I have been doing really really good.  I had my doctors visits almost down to 4 weeks.  

Last Monday I had a lot of exposure to environmental toxins. My day had started with an electrician coming to work on our circuit breaker.  He had very strong detergent/dryer sheet smells on him.  It took hours to air out the house.  During the day I had several other incidences happen.  That night I had liver issues.  I was in pain if I sat a certain way.  The next few days I did not notice that I was slipping, I was losing energy.  I was losing it so fast that I did not notice because I started to get tunnel vision.  

Thursday came and I had some tiny pains off and on. Friday came and it hurt to move.  So, I just rested, too tired to think I was in zombie mode.   Saturday came and I did my usual,  I did coach Sue, " come on you are almost done with your week, you are at the finish line of the week, you can do this".  I pushed myself, harvested veggies for the wellness boxes, talked to friends, spent time with my step-son, all at the same time I was having contractions of high pain. 

Sunday, I was moving slow, not productive at all,.  Throughout Sunday night the pain was really bad, my husband woke up with me every time the pain hit.  Thoughts of possible death, possible gallbladder burst, thoughts of I can't go to the hospital because that would mean to much chemical exposure which could be worse.  It was the worst pain I have ever had..  I could not move.  If I moved I was in excruciating pain.  I was thankful the sun came up and I made it.  

In the morning Sophia and Joseph took on all the farm chores as I laid in bed.   

 I got a hold of my doctor, which by the way is one of the best.  She is there for her patients more than any other doctor that I have known.  It was her day off and she had me come in right away.   I was not sure what to expect.  I had some serous tenderness on my right side, I was still having all the other issues.  I had blood taken for lab tests, acupuncture and given herbal products.  We also talked about the fact that I might have to go to the emergency room if the pain persists and gets worse.   That would be a scary scenario for me due to having  MCS.  That could be death if put under, it could be months and months and months of recovery... It also made Joseph and I realize that we needed to talk about what type of decisions, I would want to be made if I was not all there.   

After my visit you could see right away in my eyes that I was there more.  I could also feel it.  I was more alert.  I was happy I was headed home.  Home was the place to be.  I was thankful that I was under a tree laying down to rest and not in a hospital.  My son and his girlfriend came to visit which kept my mind off of things, I was thankful for their company.  

As I wait for my test results I have set some goals.  The first one is I need to keep my parts intact.   How do I protect myself better?  This is a hard one because I am not sure how much more I can do.  This whole incident was caused by an un-educated human, who trusts that the products he is using is safe for him.   I would also place a bet that if I told him that his laundry soaps and dryer sheets were toxic he would laugh at me, keep using them and think I was crazy.  

One big  goal I have is to get over is the emotion I am feeling called FEAR.  I have not had a whole lot of fear with my MCS.  I have had deep sadness, frustration, being angry but I have not had super fear.   What happened that I took such a deep dive when I was doing so well?   This question has raised the emotion of super fear because I do not want to go through this again.  It was scary and I am still recovering. 

I can only hope, that by you reading my message, that  maybe you can apply changes in your life that are non-toxic. you could put more organic food in your life, you could ban GMO food from your life, I hope  that you do not brush me off and de-freind me, that you do not become an ostrich and put your head in the sand, that you recognize that the changes to our environment rely on you as a consumer, to consume in a way that protects the earth, the bees and me.  Therefore you will put the bad companies out of business, the bees will stay, you will have longer life and so will I.  

[Victoria Pich]

No problem! Is it Sept 4?

[suzanne sanders]

Hi Vicki, Yes I am feeling better and thank you for asking.  As far as the Azure Standard order, yes you need to be there.  He usually comes around 4:00 pm  ish...  I just love order with Azure Standard.  I can shop from my home which is safe for me. :)  I

[Victoria Pich]

I hope you are feeling better. I wanted to offer to help unload the delivery from Azure Standard, when that comes (Sept 4? 5?) I ordered a bunch of stuff, almost 500$ worth!!!! EEEEK, my poor bank account, but my happy stomach...
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